Sunday, October 20, 2013


Within this year

 Many weird things happened.

Many unexplainable things happened.

Many worrisome things happened.

This feeling is weird.

and just the thought of these, I tremble.

and always this heart, racing fast, for no reason

and always there is an excitement, but i do not know what

and sometimes the hands are trembling, for no purpose

and sometimes the tears was there, at the slightest conscious I have.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

saya tahu saya

i guess i'm too stupid to reject those people with good prospect...punya susah mo cari suami doctorate dlm dunia ni.... sy peduli apa..,, lantak la.... bgs lg dpt suami org korea...wuu~ (perasan kejap)

sy rasa sy mmg stupid to reject a very handsome guy. an english man, an engineer. walaupun matanya bukan biru tetapi hitam, mmg handsome la orgnya... mmg orgnya kaya... another good prospect.. mana nak cari suami gini...rare item kot....   rasa2nya kalau betul2 kawen, anak pun muka caucasian. again.... another good prospect.. jd apa la?
im just an ordinary woman, not a beauty, im not a match for you prince charming. so, stop dreaming.

dan sekali lg sy rasa stupid, idiot when i made mistake falling in love with my first love. stupid la kot. i dont know. :) kalau kita sama agama, mungkin hr ni hubungan kita masih kekal kot. if i marry him, i will not worry about my health.... cukup ubat seumur hidup kali ni tau...haha.... but my 1st priority is my family, and it will always be... sebab family juga la im on my way to be a teacher skrg ni.... sedih juga la cita2 jd road not taken.

pendek cerita, bgs cari suami orang korea... boleh slalu pegi korea... boleh makan mknn korea, dpt tgk cita korea hr2 ma... hoho.... (skali lg sy perasan di sini, haha)

and why im telling this? entah la... mungkin sbb sy rasa everything that i said is only recollection of my past. tak kurang dan tak lebih. im moving forward. cukuplah sy bertawar hati slama ni... bgs kasi bgs skill mmsk dulu... siang ikan pun blm pandai lg wor... kalau potong ayam tu boleh la. kuih2 dont worry la... in progress...haha... mesti happy my future mother in law ni kan? XD  pelan2 la k mummy? ngee~

see ya next holiday. :)

Friday, June 7, 2013

perfect two song

perfect song.... surely this is one of the song that i will choose for my wedding day.... :)

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

it is about you, you, you, and you

the one who is willing to juggle own life for me, but i rejected you out of my life
the one who is willing to sacrifice anything for me, but i rejected you out of my life
the one who is willing to give anything for me, but i rejected you out of my life
the one who is willing to give utmost love for me, but i rejected you out of my life
i keep rejecting, and rejecting
i don't know what kind of person that my heart willing to accept
and i keep searching.and searching

for all the troubles that i have caused
for all the pains that i have caused
for all the heartbreaks that i have caused
for all the miserable life that i have caused
i only can say sorry from the deepest part of my heart.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

30 may

kali pertama jumpa.... kalau sudah jodoh, takkan ke mana... :) bawa bertenang hadirin sekalian..wuhuu~ >.<
-Gawai Mode-

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

it doesnt matter or does it?

Your heart must be broken. I must have shattered your heart into pieces. Alright, good bye. I'm not going to care anymore. I'm cruel, ok, fine.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

the birth of another me.

It's the starting point for Nana's World of Life. It's gonna be a new brand day. :)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013


that poem, the words u said, those touched my heart. I admit it. But im afraid im not able to say yes. i can only see a bleak future out of it. It's like catching a shadow, ended with nothing. Before it's too late, its better for you to stop everything and let go.

Monday, May 6, 2013

the answer.

i was in shock and i am still. i dont know what should i give as the most appropriate answer for the proposal. This thingy is too fast and so sudden. It made me think more than 10 times and what i realised was i am too scared. accepting means im going to take very big responsibilities and accepting any negative probability. i rejected for a few times and should i keep rejecting? should i be the bad person? this heart is too weak to be able to put trust to anybody.
looking at this and analyzing it, it looks like it will be difficult path to go through. it seems to be impossible to do. or am I the one who lacks courage?

can i throw this opportunity and enjoy my youth? one thing that i know is that im not ready and i dont know when i will be ready.

please lost hope and go away. u put me into dilemma and taking the risk of f.i.l.
I'm sorry.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

don't wake me up!

i don't know how to say this, but i think i'm almost 'kebal' with any rude people. you can say nonsense and bluff lies much as you want but im going to smile and say nothing. i can be rude too but i choose not to as long as i can. do what you want and enjoy your life. the most i will do is i will curse you la. but go ahead rude people. you will be nothing but a dust for me that i might crush one day.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

to forget.

Time pass slowly isn't it?
Don't worry.
I'll be back soon
I'm not going to forget you.